Dignity Part I: We'll talk about shame later.

I'd like to dedicate this particular post to my friend Awesome.  We've had many talks about dignity (or the lack thereof) over the last few months and they are almost always useful. When they aren't useful, they are coupled with enough humor to more than compensate for the uselessness. Also, before I begin a nonsense filled discussion of dignity, I want to point out that I am a proponent of human rights and I do think all people deserve to be treated with dignity- even when they don't care if they are or not, as in those that by choice act without dignity. Blah blah blah, lets all hold hands.

Let us consider the definition of the term: 

Miriam-Webster Online:

dig·ni·ty  noun \ˈdig-nə-tē\

1. the quality or state of being worthy, honored or esteemed

2. a: high rank, office, or position

    b: a legal title of nobility or honor

3. archaic: dignitary

4. formal reserve or seriousness of manner, appearance or language

Urban Dictionary.com:

1. Relationship between dignity and alcohol is the opposite. As alcohol levels increase... dignity

decreases.

2. Something often left at bars and fraternities.

3. Often completely lost on Halloween.

The hot mess has a warped sense of dignity. Here are a few types of undignified messes. I suggest a mix and match method when trying to pin the hot mess you know...

Perhaps their ego is so big they actually believe they have a large amount of dignity but don't realize everyone else saw it fall on the ground and then get ran over by a rascal years ago (undignified mess type 1.) A good example of this would be that guy everyone knows in town that tries to make like he's "going some place" and is "really smart" but without fail, ends up embarrassing himself on a regular basis merely by bragging repeatedly about himself when in reality, it's a farce. He isn't going anywhere. He hasn't been anywhere. He just says it to swoon the hoards of dimwits he surrounds himself with to ensure his ego stays up there with Mount Everest's.  The fact is: Everest is not technically the tallest mountain in the world, Mauna Kea is, but Mauna Kea has dignity: it doesn't complain that no one recognizes that it really spans from the ocean floor and is actually 1500 meters taller than Everest. It just lets the bragging guy win because he looks so stupid bragging.

Or... they are unaware that there is such a thing and honestly overlook it (undignified mess type 2.) This type of undignified mess was probably born that way. This is a blame the bloody parents situation. They weren't loved enough, hugged enough or taught they should be worthy or esteemed or maybe they were found in a dumpster and raised by chickens. You can't blame this type for their lack of dignified behavior because they aren't aware that they were supposed to have it to begin with. This type is the least troublesome, but the most troubled at the same time. This is the person you actually feel bad for and may even talk to just to try and get them on the straight and narrow. It probably won't work and you'll probably beat your head on the wall trying but hey, if you have nothing better to do (and I do, I like to wash my hair), by all means, go for it. It is important to note that no drugs or alcohol are necessary for this person to do things without dignity. They probably have videos on youtube of them flashing strangers at truck stops and filming responses because "it's funny." Oh it is... but in the same way it is when you watch "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Disturbed rating is high.


Or... they just don't care that they have little to no dignity perhaps because they choose to overlook it because they are "fun" and "free spirited" (undignified mess type 3.) This dignity lacking being is self explanatory for the most part. We all know this one. This is the one that is very popular in town due to having been around it... probably more than once... and screams that they are liberated. Yes, they are. Hopefully they are also vaccinated and learn however slowly, that nothing they do is understated.


Or... they are fully aware of the loss of dignity over time and continue in a cycle of further un-dignity just because they aren't sure what else to do AKA it has just become the norm (undignified mess type 4.) This is probably the most sad variety of undignified mess to look upon because it involves a knowing repetition of faulty beliefs. This is the point where dignity and shame (a post in and of itself) collide... This is someone that is truly sane and intelligent but is caught in a never-ending cycle of realizing they have no dignity and then feeling bad about it so they run toward losing more dignity. They may even be aware of it as they do it yet figure they have "nothing to lose." A good example of this that person you know that is constantly involved in some drama, vomit pool or state of depression brought on by the drama, vomit and state of depression. This mess is popular because well, he/she is nice and the like and he/she is sane enough to actually function in the day to day and hell, this hot mess is fun and yet actually appears to those that don't know them well as reasonable. This is the well-managed mess without dignity. Most likely upon waking up hung over or disgusted with the self for whatever undignified behavior may or may not have been done the night before he/she thinks about it for 10 minutes before promptly making plans to do it over again "but different." It sounds like a good idea right? Except it never happens. This hot mess type leaves a wake of destruction in it's path but sadly enough, they are the most damaged in that wake. The good news is if they fall to the darkest reaches, they may actually have enough sense to reclaim dignity! Yes, it's possible!

Of course it is worthy to note that when looking upon the hot mess, as the observer (and in case 4, the participant) you REALLY want them to have some dignity for their own sake. Or... not. They are rather amusing to watch while out and about, no?

Images pilfered via google imaging "dignity"